Sunday, July 19, 2009, 11:08 PM
If you love photography, just imagine how exciting it would be to be transplanted back 50 years with your camera. You'd photograph buildings being built, the classic cars, the traditional shops, the ordinary people going about their business. You'd do all this and charge triumphantly back to the present day with all of the evidence, and we'd all applaud this fascinating foray into real life as it was.
Yet in the present day we're routinely missing out on this opportunity: familiarity is breeding contempt. Only this evening I saw a couple of photography tutorials assisting learners in cropping out parked cars from the image of a windmill, and how to time the photo of narrowboats on a canal so that no one is seen walking past.
There is an arsenal of talented photographers out there with first-rate equipment, and if they read the same photo magazines as me, they will be sold the same false qualities of 'timelessness' and the 'abstract'. Just look at the images in these magazines, and you'll realise that, technical excellence aside, very few of them could be dated accurately in any of the last four decades.
As you park your car next to a Ford Mondeo outside your local Asda, you would be forgiven for thinking that you couldn't be further away from a worthwhile photo. Yet I believe that there is a significant job to do in documenting the world we live in, cashpoint machines, Phones4U and all. Skilled photographers are focusing almost all of their talents on the timeless, the natural, and could instead turn their technical and compositional skills to documenting our ordinary world.
These images will sit on your hard drive looking quite absurd for a while, yet with time, they will realise their true value, and an image of two salesreps eating a McDonalds could become a defining image in three decades' time.
The only drawback to all of this is that you may well be dead before you see my point.
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Friday, July 17, 2009, 12:08 AM
This creature set up shop on the roof of our holiday cottage in Cornwall, and was tolerant enough to let me get reasonably close to it. It's a common herring gull, and the kind of thing you'll normally ignore at best, and at worst get very annoyed by.
Yet just like those boring everyday things like cornflakes, seagulls are actually quite remarkable - they're beautiful (which designer put that discrete yellow trim round the eye socket?), with a tasteful colour scheme and engineered to withstand the kind of weather conditions that sink supertankers. They're aggressive, graceful, passionate and have phenominally good reactions. Just toss a chip up into the air, and one will have taken off and intercepted it in a perfect arc before it hits the ground.
Stand still enough and look at something mundane, and its beauty will jump out at you.
Unless it's Kerry Katona, mind.
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009, 12:25 AM
I haven't written much on this blog recently. Having put so much love into it at the outset, this makes me feel terrible - seeing it run bare gives me a similar feeling of inadequacy and shame to the one that seizes you when a cashpoint informs you that there are 'insufficient funds' to get hold of the money you need. I had that very moment today, actually.
Well, I do have sufficient funds when it comes to writing things. There'll be plenty more to say on here, I have a healthy side order of photos that go with that. I won't be any funnier, more savvy or quirky than anyone else's blog. I'll be a hell of a lot more me. This site is all about me, it doesn't get imposed on anyone, it doesn't have to be kept down to 140 sodding characters, and it doesn't get rammed down anyone's throat. I'm going to write about photography, sheep, Germany, vegetables, strap-ons, Wales and antihistamines. I may not get all of those into one entry, but file it away as a challenge.
Here's to being in my own skin again. It's fantastic to be back.
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Friday, May 22, 2009, 10:31 AM
I haven't disappeared. Just discovering some new toys with trendier names. No doubt, like an errant lover, I will return soon, tail between my legs, to my first love.[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink
Thursday, February 26, 2009, 10:55 AM
Brussels (AP)
The European Parliament voted this week to pass legislation that would effectively ban the use of the word 'some' as a unitary measure of violence.
Aimed to curb widespread use of the term "do you fucking want some?" in casual urban social disagreements, the measures will require consumers by law to specify the precise measure and category of "some" that is being offered.
"The lack of clarity in the current situation is alarming" said Gert Van Der Wayheydeen, European Commissioner for casual violence. "Young men throughout Britain and Europe are finding themselves in a potentially confusing situation of being unable to gauge the volume and nature of 'some' that is being offered. Our job is to remove this ambiguity in order that all parties can benchmark their appetite for a kicking against clear and consistent measures".
“We have nothing against mindless, drunken violence” assured Van Der Wayheydeen, “but when an enormous, scarred skinhead strides up to me and knocks my beer and chips into my lap, it is a human right to know whether a cheeky comment will land me in hospital or not”.
Brussels legislation will now result in all local nightspots being issued with tear-off forms to act as a pilot scheme to ensure that the new measures take effect. The F126a 'pre-assessment of violence form' will require participants to draft a formal contract of services being offered, including slaps, pathetic street wrestling, oblique blows to the head, and portions of fast food being emptied over the recipient's head. A notable omission however, is that of a common pub weapon, the pint glass - participants will now be legally required to calculate the unitary equivalent in litres before it is aimed at someone’s skull.
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